Both exist everywhere.
I was in two conversations this past week, with very different contexts and communities, and this same point emerged – though talked about in vastly different ways.
In every relationship, there are explicit and implicit agreements.
Explicit agreements are on the table, verbalised, negotiated and accepted by both parties.
Implicit agreements are byproducts of the explicit agreement, tacit, and sometimes assumptions on the part of one party or the other about how they expect the relationship to be.
Most relationships start to fracture under the table when implicit agreements have been broken, whether intentionally or not. Restoration becomes a possibility when these breached implicit agreements are made explicit. Only then can responses, negotiations, boundaries and decisions be made in light of the information now clearly known to both parties.
Cheryl Sim 